Satan’s Butthole

 

 

Yep. We’ve had it good. For quite a while we’ve been waking to a lovely marine layer and its benefits. Our weather has been the thing for which we’re envied. And we’ve enjoyed it.

 

Now we wake to a fierce sun. Its force is so powerful, it scorches by day and then the air barely cools down at night. It’s been this way for a couple of days and looks to stay the same for several more. There are heat warnings in effect. Shelters have been set up. Iced tea has been made and is being consumed in copious amounts. At least that’s true in our house.

 

I remember a few decades ago, when Mister and I first moved to Los Angeles, we rented a little house with a single window-unit a/c. During one particular summer, Satan’s Butthole-temperatures were hit and remained for a week or so. One or two days were so bad, I headed to the beach for cooler weather. Once I got there, I found little relief, as the harsh heat was beating up the beaches, too. Anyhoo – one afternoon I returned home and began opening up the house in a vain attempt to cool it down. As I walked from room to room, I stopped before the dining room table and stared. The candlesticks that were left there had drooped to one side and melted. That’s how hot it had gotten. I seem to recall hearing we had peaked at around 111 degrees or so. Maybe it was more like 109. But really – it didn’t make much difference. Once you hit H-A-W-T, a couple of degrees just don’t seem to matter.

 

Today I plan to work out early (we’re nuts, I know), then be as still as possible for as long as possible. I have plenty of sunscreen, a big hat and pool floats. That water may just save our lives. That and the conditioned air and iced tea. I’m just sayin’.

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