Dear Rock Camp,
As another year of volunteering at Rock Camp has come to a close, I am left reflecting on my experience. As this was my 4th year with this amazing group, I should be used to the come-down process. But I’m not. I don’t know if I will ever be.
For some reason, I come into the week the same way each year: timidly. I doubt myself. I doubt my abilities to add to the week. I doubt my gifts. I doubt my even belonging with the amazing group of volunteers. This year was no different, and I even had a nasty dream about being told I don’t belong, the very morning Day 1 began. I know that’s just my brain working out my issues, but it’s still uncomfortable. And I still have to do the work to move past that. Thank God for therapy.
And thank God for all of you. I have never – not once – been made to feel like an outsider at Rock Camp. Each and every volunteer has always welcomed me and, dare I say, valued my presence. I feel lifted and supported by all of you. I feel appreciated and respected. For the 5 days of Rock Camp (and the 1 showcase day), I feel like there’s a cheering squad in my corner, rooting me on to own the beauty of simply being me. I am able to describe all this because I participate in the reciprocity of these same acts with all the volunteers around me. And I relish the opportunity to support my sisters. What a gift! Caring for all of you, supporting all of you – I am privileged to direct my energy toward these goals.
It doesn’t really surprise me to see campers mirroring this same behavior. The positive energy trickles down, after all, and is infectious. The girls can’t help but mimick the actions of the volunteers. And when we, as adults, witness their bravery and strength, it only serves to increase our own. How awesome is that!
Don’t get me wrong – I know this is all about the girls. Always is, and always will be. And I love that. I love them. They are more inspirational than words allow me to describe. So while I’m quite clear about them being the focus, I am just amazed to receive so very much from Rock Camp.
But that’s how it goes, isn’t it? You think you’re giving. Your intent is to give. And in doing so, you open yourself up to receiving more than you ever expected. I will never understand how it all works. It is a beautiful mystery, and I’ve just stopped trying to figure it out. At this point, I guess the best thing I can do is keep showing up, try my best to be of service, and then endeavor to graciously accept the rewards. I struggle with that last part sometimes, but I choose to keep trying.
If I have any complaint at all about Rock Camp, it is this: one week a year is just not enough. I want the beauty of this group of people in my life all the time! I want the glow of this organization to be a constant in my world! And I want to be a part of that! Not much of a complaint, really.
Before I sign off, I want to share something from the morning of the big Showcase. When I woke, I was in the middle of a strange dream (much like I was the first morning of camp). In this dream, I was finishing a round-the-world vacation. The entire journey had found me traveling first-class. And everyone was so friendly! I was addressed by name, I was shown respect, I was appreciated and felt happy. On the final leg of my travels, as I was headed home, I was booked in coach. All of a sudden, some people were rude. Some appeared unhappy. Some refused to acknowledge my existence, even when I spoke directly to them. I took my assigned seat and wondered what was going on. Why were all these people in such a dark mood? And that’s when I woke up. I thought about the dream for a few minutes, and then I understood. The dream represented my feelings about leaving Rock Camp (the first-class experience with all the friendly, respectful people) and the return to regular life (folks who aren’t riding the highs of all that Awesome-ness).
As I got ready for the Showcase and then headed to the Troubadour, I was thinking about the dream and how I could change its outcome. The most obvious action I can take is to simply carry on with my Rock Camp behavior. Why not high-five people at the hardware store? Why not tell store clerks “You’re Awesome” when they do a good job? Why not smile and sing throughout my day? Why not, indeed.
So I thank you, Rock Camp, for once again bringing a richness to my world. For once again raising the bar of how much joy I can feel in one day. For once again, quite simply, giving your best. It’s been an honor and a privilege.
With eternal gratitude and respect,
Your Friend – Mikki