I was speaking with my cousin the other day, and he was saying how he struggles this time of year. Knowing of the tragic loss of his sister in April of ’98, I assumed his struggle was due to that. And, to be fair, that terrible event does haunt him.
But he told me something I didn’t expect. He said that Spring always saddles him with a sense of malaise. He spoke of how crazy everyone gets for a while each Spring, and how he looks forward to Summer, if only so everyone can calm the hell down (my words, not his).
This was such a novel thought for me, I wanted to discuss and dissect, and Shady Grady obliged. We talked for a good long while and I think I started to come to an appreciation of his feelings.
Take leaves, for example. Those buds cling to tree branches each Spring, holding on for dear life. And though they desperately want to become leaves, they linger – as buds – for as long as possible. Only when they can no longer handle the pain of constriction do they burst forth into leafdom.
Same with snakes. Do you think shedding old skin is a party? I imagine it’s awfully uncomfortable, if not downright painful. But you know what? The snake goes through it anyway. Why? Because that’s part of being a snake, and because not changing can hurt a hell of a lot more than change itself.
As humans, we forget this. We fight growth, change, evolution. And that fighting can make us crazy, friends, for we are meant to evolve.
Then again, when we do decide we’re not gonna fight the funk, when we do allow ourselves to ride the wave of change, we sometimes experience the seemingly necessary discomfort of the road to our blossoming. That, too, can make us crazy.
So whether we’re stagnant or active, some of us are just gonna be a little nuts during our growth spurts. And since we’re part of nature, it wouldn’t be all that surprising if we, like many of earth’s living wonders, experienced transition each and every Spring.
So maybe Shady Grady is really on to something. Maybe the knot in his stomach is based on some intuitive knowledge of Spring’s reach. Then again, maybe he’s just my wack-job cousin.
Either way, I like his idea. It doesn’t bring me anxiety or anything. It kind of excites me. After all, if I’m on the verge of bursting forth into bloom, I can hardly wait for the next stage of my own becoming.