Shadows

 

 

The other day I woke up with a sore throat, along with a grand appreciation for life. It was an odd start to the day. My body definitely didn’t feel too good, and yet my mental disposition couldn’t have been brighter. Since I didn’t just meet me, I knew my mind was going to determine the course of my day, no matter how crappy my matter (body) felt.

 

I had to deliver some stuff I’d been proof-reading, as it was due for publishing… And can I just say something about that? I know some people get all excited when they’re about to undertake a pleasurable job or task, and I’m no exception. My engines are revved when I’m asked to get out my red pen to dissect the printed word. Seriously. I felt like crap when I worked on that package, and it was still fabulous! I wish there had been more of it to proof-read! But I digress…

 

So I delivered the paperwork, then walked back to the train, through Korea Town. K-Town is hopping and a lot of fun, but I wasn’t sure how lively it would be at 11:30 in the morning, so I kept my expectations kind of low. Plus, I was on the ill side of things, so there wasn’t much energy for raised expectations anyway. But I decided a pit stop, for medicinal purposes (ahem), was in order. Beer Belly more than satisfied that yen.

 

After my early lunch, I headed to the train station and made my way home. All told, I only walked a couple of miles, but I was fairly worn out from the outing (danged sick self). I tried to do low-energy jobs the rest of the day and mostly managed to pull that off.

 

Sometimes I tend to keep to the shadows in life. I don’t always interact with the world and I don’t always feel sunshine-y. During those times, the shadows are familiar and comfortable. Safe even. There’s nothing wrong with that, I know. But when I do venture into the light, even if my body isn’t quite well, I am often rewarded with joy and gratitude, just for being alive. My profound appreciation for both shadows and light is immense. As I’ve learned in painting class, you can’t have light without shadows, nor can you have shadows without light. I get it. And I’ll take both, thank-you-very-much.

10 Days

 

 

Mister says it takes 10 days to get through and over most ailments. He believes this firmly, and I suppose it could be true. When he said this to me earlier this week, I was on day 1 of The Crud, so 10 friggin’ days sounded awful. Now that I’m on day 5, I’m hoping he’s right and that 10 days is all it will take.

 

I am a terrible patient. In a lot of ways, I’m more like a dude than a chick when I’m unwell. (That’s right – I said it.) I don’t ask for every little thing. In fact, I barely ask for anything. I usually find some task I’ve been avoiding and tackle that when I’m under the weather. Guess where that leads? Yep. I tire easily and it takes twice as long to finish the job. I guess the worst part of being sick is me – in my own head. I am terrible company for myself and I’m hyper-critical of myself. It’s silly and makes no sense, I know. But that’s how I do when I’m illin.

 

Anyhoo – 5 days to go. And then I’ll be top-notch. Rather, I’d better be. If Mister’s timeline is off, he’s in for a germ lashing.

Want Some Cheese With That Whine?

 

 

 

I’m about to whine. You’ve been warned.

 

Yesterday I woke feeling about a jillion times worse than the day before. I could barely speak. My jaw ached tremendously. My head was clogged and painful. Really – I was quite the picture. Mister said I should save my voice and simply not speak. (I didn’t blame him.) And he encouraged me to lie around, which was about all I could handle.

 

At some point I considered crying. I thought about it and wondered if it would make me feel better. Crying does that sometimes. I have definitely experienced a few sob sessions that seemed to wring the bad/sad/hurt right out. Those cathartic cries bring clarity and comfort. But yesterday felt different. I thought that maybe the physical act of crying would create more pressure and tension in my head and I simply did not need that. So I didn’t cry. Not one tear.

 

Mister pointed out that now is the time to be sick, as next weekend I have Rock Camp commitments. And he’s right. I can’t imagine teaching, working, roadie-ing, singing or anything else I might be called upon to do over the course of the week. And I really don’t want to expose any fellow volunteers or campers to this petri dish known as my head. That would be downright stupid. And mean. I love those people! I don’t want to get them sick!

 

So I’m in whining mode. And I’m not happy and I’m super uncomfortable, to put it mildly. But you know what? I know people – right now – who are dealing with much worse than this. And though they’re challenged, they are dealing. So maybe I can pretend the pain isn’t there. Maybe I can eat soup, since my jaw hurts too much for solid food. Maybe I can manage a damn smile once in a while. Maybe I can manage – period.

Spoke Too Soon

 

 

Yesterday I wrote about doing alright and owning my skin. Today I have a sore throat and am feeling pretty crappy.

 

Perhaps I spoke too soon, no? Ugh.

Under the Weather

 

 

I’m a bit under the weather. And it’s slightly depressing. But what can a gal do? Ride it out is the answer.

 

Anyhoo, why do we say “under the weather” anyway? I mean, aren’t we all – as earth-dwellers – literally under the weather? I’ve looked online for a reliable origin of this saying, but thus far I’m not fully buying a single explanation.

 

Honestly, I guess I don’t really care from where the saying hails. I just look forward to feeling better.

Stand Back – A Sermon’s Comin’

 

 

Mister can’t say anything about it, but I can, so stand back…

 

For all you sick jokers who like to hang out near us healthy folks while droning on, “I’m not contagious! I’m not contagious!” – stop it! Get the hell away from us!

 

1. You are clearly contagious, especially if you end up getting us sick, you freak!

2. You are not a doctor! Nor are you an expert from the CDC! Don’t pretend you know what is or is not contagious!

3. We don’t want to hear you whine about your germs! The very germs you insist on sprinkling every damned place you go!

4. You’re sick! We’re not your mama! We are not here to care for you! Keep your sick to yourself!

5. Again – you are contagious! Deal with it!

 

I feel bad for Mister. That guy has been working super-hard and now he’s nearly down for the count. And while I’m not his mama, I will care for him. And I’ll listen to him if he needs to whine. And I’ll make risotto or soup or anything else he thinks might make him feel better.

 

But no soup for you, sick freaks! Keep it to yourselves!

 

End of sermon.

Ah-Choo!

 

 

I hate to admit it, but I’m sick. Under the weather. And I’m not very good at being sick.

 

It’s only a sore throat and an accompanying cold. Nothing major. But even that requires slowing down a bit, so that the body can fend off those little germs and recover.

 

Right now – in my life – slowing down isn’t something I’m keen on. So much to do, so little time.

 

Of course, that’s our collective life story, isn’t it? There will always be so much to do. And there will always be so little time.

 

Okay. Maybe I can be still for a while, allow my body to rest. Maybe I can snuggle up with my Pike County High School blanket and shade my eyes from the light. Maybe. Like I said, I’m not very good at being sick. Wish me luck.