Feeling Like a Dummy

 

 

I think the heat has had some sort of cumulative effect on me, as each afternoon finds me longing for a nap. I haven’t actually given in to the yearning, but I do yearn, just the same.

 

My schedule is off this week, because of Rosh Hashanah. It’s not that big of a deal, but I admit I am a sucker for routine. Stirring it up, while perfectly acceptable, throws me for a bit of a loop. That uncertainty isn’t mixing well with my desire for extra sleep.

 

And then there’s the very real possibility that I’m simply experiencing certain signs of age. That’s no big deal, either, but it is an odd sensation. My brain isn’t quite the way I expect it to be. My physicality isn’t, either. And don’t get me started on feeling loopy. Not in a druggy way or anything, but in a wasn’t-I-supposed-to-be-doing-something kind of way. It’s unsettling, I tell ya.

 

I don’t know why I’m sharing all this. Maybe I just need to acknowledge where I’m at. How I am. Maybe I’m hoping someone out there will have advice or at least be able to tell me I’m not completely bonkers.

 

Then again, maybe I am bonkers. Maybe I won’t even remember having written this. Maybe I’ll just give in and take a damned nap.

Shareful

 

 

I am sated. With food. With fun. With friends. And life is indeed good.

 

I have lots to share, and will! But not right now. Right now I need to get my house back in order. I need to not overeat today. I need to work on some art. I need to make today a good day.

 

I’ll be shareful, though, promise. Tomorrow…

Just So You Know…

 

 

I thought I’d try something new with this post. In the past, I’ve rarely shared paintings before they’re finished. I’ve shared details or small areas, but not the entire mess. That’s because when I begin a new painting, the first layer generally looks like something a 3rd-grader might accomplish. Say what you will about my paintings, but 3rd-grade results are not what I’m aiming for, folks.

 

So this is taking me a bit outside my comfort zone. And just so you know, these 2 little canvases are 8-inch squares. Yep – tiny. (There’s actually a 3rd canvas, barely peeking out on the left, but I didn’t manage to get any paint on that one.) When they’re done, I’m hoping they look like a city skyline. Part of New York’s skyline, to be precise. One thing’s for sure – they won’t look anything like they do now.

 

Anyhoo – as you can see, I’ve a long way to go. And if you’re thinking small canvases must surely be easier than large, think again. Everyone I know who’s painted all sizes says the same thing: the little ones take just as long, if not longer.

 

I’m lighting a candle for myself, thank-you-very-much.

Triple-Chocolate Buttermilk Pound Cake Cupcakes!

 

 

Remember when I wrote about the above photo and how much I loved it?

 

Well there’s a new version in town and it’s far more manageable. Triple-Chocolate Buttermilk Pound Cake Cupcakes! The thing I like about the cupcake version is the sheer share-ability! Mister and I delivered these to a few neighbors and it was so much easier than slicing the gi-normous bundt cake version. Not only that, they’re easier to eat and already portioned!

 

 

For the record, I kept the recipe the same. I did decrease the cooking time to 35 minutes. And we ended up with 2 dozen cupcakes.

 

These are rich, so I won’t be making them too often. But man are they good! Bal-en-times may be over, but so what? It’s still February. I can think of no better reason to treat yo-self!

Heroes

 

 

I’d been waiting to watch it. My friend Betro was waiting, too, so that we could watch together: the Kate Bush documentary that recently aired on BBC. A buddy had sent a copy from the UK and Betro and I wanted to make it an occasion.

 

When we finally sat down together, our focus on the television screen, neither of us had any idea what to expect. Betro pressed play…

 

Do you have heroes? Do you have people whose talents you admire, if not downright envy? Is there someone in the world you look up to? Someone you don’t actually know, yet you’re grateful for?

 

Kate Bush is one such person for me. And while I have her entire musical catalog in my possession, I can’t say I’ve ever known much about her. Her personal life has never been a topic of conversation in my little world. And I’m not so stalkerish as to wonder where she lives or how she goes about her day-to-day existence. All I’ve cared about is the music. Her songs have provided refuge and entertainment. I’ve listened to her music when I’ve felt alone and when I’ve wanted to dance. I’ve depended on her talents for inspiration and comfort. Again and again, her music has been there for me.

 

When the documentary ended, I covered my face with my hands, to enclose my tears. I finally looked up and saw Betro doing the same. It seemed we were both profoundly affected by the Kate Bush doc. Our ensuing conversation covered not only our feelings about the documentary, but also our personal histories with the music of Kate Bush. We talked about how we perceived her talents and choices. We talked about our own life choices. And fear. How there’s far too much of it. How it cripples.

 

And we talked about how grateful we are that some folks find a way to move through their own fear (if they have it) and produce beauty in this world. About how our tears were joyful. About how nice it was to be able to share our thoughts and feelings together.

 

Heroes sometimes wear uniforms. Sometimes they stand high above the rest of us. More often than not, however, they look just like us. Doing their best to get along in this world with what they’ve got. Make no mistake – they are not without fear. Like us, their thoughts occasionally run to the perceived pain of failure. But unlike many of us, they go ahead and try to make their lives into – something.

 

Thank goodness.

I’ve Got Nothing

 

 

Sometimes I’ve got something to share. Today, I’ve got nothing. That isn’t a bad thing, it’s just the way it is.

 

And of course, when I say I’ve got nothing, I mean I’ve got nothing other than a photo of an octopus butt.