Spell-check, People!



The other day I was looking for a local business to print some photos from negatives.


Now – before I get too deep, let me say that yes, I am someone who still has negatives from the days of film cameras. In fact, I still own film cameras and occasionally use them. And I treat that film like gold. Because it’s just that precious. But I digress…


Like I said, I was searching online for a local business equipped to make photo prints from negatives. I found a well-reviewed joint and started studying their website. And that’s when my head nearly exploded and I had to have a cool drink while walking around the block, just to recover from what I’d seen. The well-reviewed establishment was ready to provide “diggital prints” from “nagative” or slides. The site went on to read “glossy is available upon reguested” and that they “are a full service.” Full service what, I couldn’t tell you, as that bit of info was not provided.


I don’t mean to be all grammar-police-y. I don’t mean to even notice misspelled words and poor grammar. It just happens. In fact, sometimes when I read a news story with excellent grammar and correctly spelled words, I’m so taken by the professionalism of the piece that I miss the content entirely and have to read it a second time, just to focus on the information provided and not on the writing itself. This isn’t about some superiority trip. It’s kind of a curse, if you must know.


Anyhoo, after my head nearly exploded, I looked for another service provider. I mean, if you can’t even be bothered to click spell-check people, why on earth would I think you’d be capable of doing a good job?


You wouldn’t. Be capable, I mean. But that’s okay. Because there’s always some other business, ready to take my money. Here’s hoping nothing’s misspelled on my receipt.

Mandatory Fun




Once upon a time, there lived a dude named Mister. And that dude got it in his head that seeing Weird Al Yankovic in concert would be a treat. Well – Mister was the kind of guy who, once he set his mind to something, he was a-gonna see it through. And that’s how we ended up at L.A.’s Greek Theatre over the weekend, at the last domestic date of Weird Al’s “Mandatory Fun Tour.” (The tour is now headed to Europe.)



We were there with our friend, Would-Be Sue, and y’all – I was not prepared for how awesome that show would be. Sure – Weird Al took us down memory lane, to revisit the parody songs of our childhood, like “Fat”…



But then there were new-to-me parodies, as well as amazing medleys.



And serious costume changes.



At one point Weird Al began singing “Wanna B Ur Lovr.” And it was hilarious.



And then he climbed down from the stage…



And he started making his way up the aisle…



And then he was across the aisle, singing to a chick and rubbing his butt in the face of the dude beside her…



And then Weird Al went all the way up the aisle, as far as he could go, thrilling the people in the back.



He then started making his way back down the aisle, and I thought he’d just be all business and get to the stage. But I was wrong. Because when he reached our row, Weird Al leaned in and – I swear to beans – looked me in the eye and sang, “You must have fallen from heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face!” Now before any hyper-sensitive person find offence in this, let me assure you I did not. I nearly fell off my seat from laughter, and I’m pretty sure I pulled a muscle from contorting my body in joyous hilarity, but offence was nowhere to be found. A short time later, Weird Al was back on the stage and launching into the next song.



By the time the encore rolled around, my face was about to crack. After he closed the show with “Yoda,” I was downright elated.



As we made our way out of the theatre and then home, Mister, Would-Be Sue and I talked about the experience. We were overcome with the astounding creativity involved in the night’s performance. And the band – which I understand has been with Weird Al since the 1980s – was incredibly tight. The professionalism displayed that night blew my mind. And honestly, I was ridiculously inspired by the whole experience. I think the show ran about 2 hours, and I can honestly say there was no lull. 18 songs and various video interstitials kept the energy levels high and revving.



Once upon a time, there lived a dude named Mister. And that dude got it in his head that seeing Weird Al Yankovic in concert would be a treat. And he was right. It truly was.


Know Your Audience



I was at the grocery store the other day and on one particular aisle I encountered a uniformed store employee and 2 other nicely-dressed men who appeared to be reps for something sold on that aisle. They were conducting their business while I stood about 10 feet away, deciding on a purchase. We did not interact with one another.


Anyhoo – as I studied prices and whatnot, one of the supposed reps started talking at an amped-up volume about how “this shit just doesn’t sell.” He must’ve said it about 3 times before going off on some other loud rant. He sounded like a 12-year-old boy, not a middle-aged man (which he clearly was). As it happened, I needed to buy something located just where that guy was standing, but I didn’t have any interest in going near him, so I decided to take care of the rest of my shopping, then hit that aisle last. As I started to push my cart away from their conversation, the uniformed employee asked if I needed any help. As I am just old enough to speak my mind, I said, “I do need something here but I’d rather wait until you all clear out!” At that, all 3 of them said things like, “Don’t go! We’ll help you!” But it was too late. I was already rounding the corner.


I am not offended by swearing. In fact, I could probably have given any one of those dudes a run for his money where cussing is concerned. I just know there’s a time and a place. And I’m in control of my faculties and decorum, so I know where and when to let the expletives fly. It seemed to me that the very loud and obnoxious dude wanted to appear professional, and yet he had no idea how to behave as such. For me, nothing about that guy was professional. He just came off as a pud-ski. Nothing more, nothing less.


Sometimes we are called upon to teach. (Most of the time we are called upon to learn.) But it wasn’t my job to school that rude dude. That’s his stuff to figure out. Or not. Life’s short. And I want to spend my precious time around friggin’ grown-ups. At least now I know to stay out of the water aisle at my local grocer. Dag.