Have you ever had one of those days where the challenges were lined up like dominoes, and yet you couldn’t knock over a single one? A day where you just kept turning around to find another domino, boxing you in? Ugh.


Yesterday was boxing me in, I tell ya. And no matter how I tried to stay positive, to move on to something else, I just kept hitting those dominoes. And nothing would give. Nothing.


It worries me that this is going to be one of those weeks. And y’all – I may not be woman enough to handle it. Yes – I can get things done, but I really don’t want to do it through tears and snot and looking like a glazed doughnut has smeared on my danged face. A little decorum would be nice.


But maybe this isn’t the week for decorum. Maybe I’m just going to have to face the struggles and keep pushing against that first domino, hoping it will wobble. That really is how it feels, you know. Like I can make it, if only I can handle one task, one challenge. If I can just get through that, maybe the rest will truly fall into place. Maybe.


And so I push…

Know Your Audience



I was at the grocery store the other day and on one particular aisle I encountered a uniformed store employee and 2 other nicely-dressed men who appeared to be reps for something sold on that aisle. They were conducting their business while I stood about 10 feet away, deciding on a purchase. We did not interact with one another.


Anyhoo – as I studied prices and whatnot, one of the supposed reps started talking at an amped-up volume about how “this shit just doesn’t sell.” He must’ve said it about 3 times before going off on some other loud rant. He sounded like a 12-year-old boy, not a middle-aged man (which he clearly was). As it happened, I needed to buy something located just where that guy was standing, but I didn’t have any interest in going near him, so I decided to take care of the rest of my shopping, then hit that aisle last. As I started to push my cart away from their conversation, the uniformed employee asked if I needed any help. As I am just old enough to speak my mind, I said, “I do need something here but I’d rather wait until you all clear out!” At that, all 3 of them said things like, “Don’t go! We’ll help you!” But it was too late. I was already rounding the corner.


I am not offended by swearing. In fact, I could probably have given any one of those dudes a run for his money where cussing is concerned. I just know there’s a time and a place. And I’m in control of my faculties and decorum, so I know where and when to let the expletives fly. It seemed to me that the very loud and obnoxious dude wanted to appear professional, and yet he had no idea how to behave as such. For me, nothing about that guy was professional. He just came off as a pud-ski. Nothing more, nothing less.


Sometimes we are called upon to teach. (Most of the time we are called upon to learn.) But it wasn’t my job to school that rude dude. That’s his stuff to figure out. Or not. Life’s short. And I want to spend my precious time around friggin’ grown-ups. At least now I know to stay out of the water aisle at my local grocer. Dag.

You Can’t Buy Everything There…



I love Costco. I do. Mister likes to say it’s one of the things that makes America great. I do not disagree.


Costco sells a lot of things. More than I know, really. But that’s not the point of this post. The point is this – I was in the Costco parking lot last week, locked out of my car. It was Mister’s car, actually, and I had taken it in for service and so the electronic key wasn’t attached to my ring. Instead, it was in the car, where the service guy had left it. When I got out of the car, I’d used the interior lock mechanism instead of the exterior. This makes a difference because the exterior mechanism is electronic, meaning one cannot lock the door from the outside if the key is inside the car. But since I used the interior mechanism – which is manual – I was able to lock the doors, no matter where the key was. That’s not the point of this post, either.


So I was standing by my locked car in the Costco parking lot, waiting for AAA to come bail out my sorry butt. As I was standing there, a lady pushed her laden cart past me and dropped some trash on the ground. She stopped, looked down at the trash, then shrugged her shoulders and walked to her car. Which was right next to mine. That’s right – this all happened a mere 2 feet in front of me.


I have many assets flaws, y’all. One of them is my big mouth. So, as you’re probably guessing, I opened said big mouth and blurted, “You’re gonna pick up that litter, aren’t you?” The lady sighed audibly and said, “Yes! I was gonna pick it up!” She stomped the 2 feet to where she’d left the trash and retrieved it. She then finished unloading her shopping into her car. She then got in her car, backed out of the spot, put the car in drive and started to leave the parking lot. But just after she began inching forward, she leaned out her window and yelled, “Bitch!” She then sped off pretty dang quickly.


I have many flaws assets, y’all. One of them is my big sense of humor. So when that lady yelled at me, I did the only thing I could: I guffawed so loudly and with such gusto, I actually bent over and slapped my own knee. I was still laughing as she peeled around the corner, trying so desperately to get away from me, lest I come after her or something.


After my laughter died down, I thought about that lady and her witnessed behaviors. And I realized I had been unfair to her. For she was only being true to her nature. Think about it. She knowingly littered. I mean, she may have accidentally dropped the garbage, but she knowingly chose to leave the trash on the ground. She chose to litter. And if that behavior was a part of her nature, it should have been no surprise that she might then choose to yell an obscenity at a stranger in a public parking lot. That lady is what she is.


And another factor was probably at play: I don’t care what kind of person one may be, no one relishes having their shortcomings pointed out. By anyone. And certainly not by someone who’s having a happy, joy-filled, all-I-can-seem-to-do-is-laugh kind of day.


But that is my nature. Just like my big mouth and my optimism. And my love for Costco.


Yes, they sell a lot of things at Costco. But you can’t buy everything there. For as I clearly learned in their parking lot, they obviously don’t sell class, grace or decorum. You’ve either got those or you don’t.